The Creative Mind Of The Spunkmaster Essays - Jackass,

The Creative Mind Of The Spunkmaster Pyro explodes from The Nassau Coliseum in the heart of Long Island, as the 2nd PCW PPV kicks off with Metallica performing Seek -N- Destroy to open up the show !! The crowd is psyched up for this show tonight folks !! Your commentators at ringside are Jackass JR and King Zio !!! ( All The Small Things by Blink 182 plays over the sound system ) JACKASS JR - Here comes Ashley Marty, leading her punk brigade of Cristian Maiullo, Craig Grauso, and Tim Ogden to do battle with the GOD Squad. ( Revolution? by Kirk Franklin plays ) KING ZIO - Here comes the GOD Squad, consisting of Michael Morganti, Kevin Cahill, and Father Joly with Maria Nouri and Kelly Dow. Wait !! Another body has made his way through the curtain, its no...IT CAN'T BE !! JACKASS JR- ITS THE SULTAN OF THE SAX !! ITS RANDY SILANG !!!! The Punk Pit comes out strong, but the lanky body of Morganti enables him to toss Craig around the ring like a sack of potatoes. Ogden gets a point for his team by taking out the ankle of Michael, and the two Punk Pitters proceed to give Morganti a wish-bone !! Morganti is writhing in pain from the shock of his legs being separated in that cruel type fashion. Cristian goes to backdrop Cahill, but instead Cahill throws Cristians head to the mat with a handful of spiky, highlighted hair . He then drops an elbow, and goes for the pin, but its broken up by a big boot to the head by Ogden. All hell breaks loose as all 6 men enter the ring !! Kelly enters to low-blow Cristian, but is speared to hell by Ashley !! The Punk Pit picks up momentum as Grauso goes for the Stewy Spike, but as he gets up Maria Nouri hits him with a flying clothesline !! Randy then covers Grauso and the GOD Squad steals a victory !! JACKASS JR- What a match !! I hope we see more of these 2 factions against each other !! The GOD Squad better count their blessings though King !! KING ZIO - Definitely JR !! But now we have a hardcore title match coming up !! These 3 have some blood, sweat and tears to shed after this !! ( Samurai music plays ) JACKASS JR -Coming to the ring, by way of Tokyo, Japan, he is the Lethal Weapon, Steve Chewy Blackman !! KING ZIO - This guy has no personality JR !! Kinda reminds me of that guy Martin...that really smart kid at that PC high school... ( Come As You Are by Nirvana plays ) KING ZIO - Now entering the junkyard, this is Raven !!! JACKASS JR - Haven't I seen this bum before ? Didn't he play the part of Lysander ? Nah, couldn't be..... ( Wait and Bleed by Slipknot plays ) KING ZIO - Here we go !! Here comes the champion !! From the Red Hook section of Brooklyn, New York, this is TAZ !!! JACKASS JR - People know this man as RAVI from the PC locker room !! He has a reputation as one tough, little son of a gun !! All 3 men immediately grab a weapon, Chewy gets his resident kendo sticks, Raven armed with a chain, and Taz with a steel chair. Chewy goes to swing, but Raven catches it with the chain, and proceeds to start swinging The Lethal Weapon around like a retarded merry-go-round !! Taz gets kayoed in the face with one of Chewy's feet, and he is knocked cold !! Chewy goes for the flying kick, but Raven dodges it and catches Chewy on the left ankle with a NICE chair shot !! He then DDTs him onto a metal car bumper, and Chewy is seeing stars !! Taz is regaining his senses, and applies the chokehold on Raven, but Raven falls back, and Taz is crushed on top of a car !! Raven gets into his car, pushes the pedal to the metal, and proceeds to run over Taz in much the same fashion the MoonDoggie was run over by Raven after the drama in the PC parking lot !! Raven goes for the pin,